I constantly feel like I am more blessed than I think I deserve to be. I see people who, in my mind, deserve so much more than me. They walk better, talk better and are just down right good people through and through. Not to say that they are not blessed in their own way but you get what I am saying...
I wouldn't say my entire life has been a day in the park but my struggles have been meek in comparison to the battles I hear of everyday. I am ridiculously thankful for this insight, but I have found myself wondering...why is it that I, of all people, get the privilege of living the life that I do? I have an amazing family, the best possible (and most good looking in my opinion) husband, awesome in-laws, friendships that make me feel loved, a beautiful home, and so much more. But why?
Occasionally I feel the devil creep into these thoughts and I find myself fearing of the future. Thinking, "My life has been so great, its bound to have a giant issue at some point." It feels like a legitimate fear to me sometimes.
I was thinking this as I drove to church this past Sunday and God spoke to my heart and told me that he doesn't bless me for me. He blesses me so that I can bless others and walk with an anointing. So that what I do and say and be can help bring others to His way.
It is only recently that I have began reading the Bible and thirsting for more. I have always loved and trusted the Lord but never looked beyond attending church. Everyday I learn more from His word. It is a never ending journey and battle but I know God has great plans for me (even when I feel like a total mess which is...lets be honest, most of the time). Everyday I am trying my best to look to him. To say yes to his plans for me...whatever they may be.
I know some will read this post and it may rub them the wrong way. I also know that my readership isn't huge and while I don't want to lose anyone, I do want to use what influence I do have (no matter the size) to share my journey to touch or help even just one person.
God is so good. Maybe you know Him, maybe you don't, but because of Him I am who I am.