She loves to play with my breast pumps and now she can because our breastfeeding journey has officially come to an end.

We actually stopped a week after her 1st birthday. Was it bittersweet? Yep. But we were both ready.

**Let me start off by saying that fed is FED! No matter how you feed your baby, you are a CHAMP. We breastfed AND used formula on our journey.**

The Beginning of Our Breastfeeding Journey

I was very blessed, especially in the beginning. The nurses at the hospital told me that I had good equipment for the job (LOL) and she latched right away.

She had pretty bad jaundice at birth though and struggled to stay awake for feedings for the 2 weeks. This lead to her weight dropping and the pediatrician suggesting that we supplement with formula. I was adamantly against that at the time though so I saw a lactation consultant.

The reason I was against it was that SO much milk poured out of me. Y’all, it even came out of my armpits (more here if you missed that craziness). I knew enough milk wasn’t the problem and am so glad I saw an expert so they could confirm that too.

I haakaa-ed every drop I could and froze it because I only took 4 weeks off of work and knew we’d need it. Sometimes I’d get up to 6 ounces after feeding her! I did fear that that was telling my body that I should keep producing exponential amounts but looking back, I laugh because that would have been amazing if my body had continued to produce THAT much. It did wain over time.

Also, breast pads were a MUST for the first 6 months. These were my fav and this is my fav type of nursing bra (still wear it daily).

The Middle of Our BreastFeeding Journey

I distinctly remember around 4.5 months when we moved her to her crib that my supply started dropping. We were still doing night feedings (and continued to for a LONG time 🥴) but running a business and pumping enough was HARD. I was on the road meeting with clients a lot so I’d bring a cooler and a million bags everywhere. Pump in the car. Pump in a bathroom. I’d pump anywhere I could and put it on ice.

The hardest part for me was (and still is) remembering everything. This has been universal for everything with a baby beyond pumping. They need lots of things and I am constantly trying so hard not to forget something and never fully succeeding. This is the source of my biggest personal stress with having a baby.

If I forget a pump part while going out, there’d be tears.

Tears and stress are both BAD for breastfeeding. A breastfeeding mom needs to be hydrated and stress-free. Lol, if ONLY!

Everyone in my life was very supportive but wanted to make sure P had food. We discussed buying a hands-free pump or supplementing with formula.

I didn’t want to buy the pump because it’s expensive and I didn’t know how much longer we’d be breastfeeding. In retrospect, I wish I had purchased it and will SURELY get one if we have another baby.

I didn’t want to supplement because making it a year was my goal and… I didn’t want to give up what was going to help me continue to lose my baby weight. Selfish but honest.

Looking back, yes our breastfeeding journey was magical and I miss it but at the time, the unknown made it too stressful to see that. I don’t even have one photo of my breastfeeding her because I never wanted to risk something distracting her from getting a full feeding. Goodness.

I went back to see the lactation consultant, added coconut water, and more Chickfila sandwiches and cookies to my diet and we made it through.

The End of Our Breastfeeding Journey

Que the pandemic. P was around 7 months and becoming wayyyy to busy to sit with mom and nurse. So I pumped exclusively and poured it right into a bottle for her.

Ryan would have to take a break from work for this (since we were both working from home) or I’d have to barricade her in a room with cushions while I sat on the floor with her and pumped. I even pumped in the middle of the night when she started sleeping through the night around 9.5 months.

This was also stressful because I was never super proactive. When she wanted it, she wanted it right THEN but had to wait for the pump (more on my pump here).

By 10.5 months I had around 10 servings of frozen milk in the fridge and I was NOT going to have the same panic attack that I had at 4.5 months. I so easily and casually decided we’d supplement with formula.

At this point my stress over breastfeeding was gone and looking back, I wonder if I HAD supplemented at my 4.5-month breakdown if that had been better for my stress. I mean, we could have gone back to exclusively breastfeeding after a week or two of me calming down. Who really knows.

We started with just one bottle of formula for a few weeks, then it was two, etc. Eventually, as we approached her first birthday, I was down to pumping just once a day. Then it was time to switch her to regular milk and we haven’t looked back since.

Overall Feelings

I am so thankful to have made it as far as I did. I would encourage everyone to try to breastfeed because it is so worth it. We ALL have challenges and I know every baby is different but you don’t have to try it alone. Seek help, go with your gut. But if your gut says formula all the way is your way, do it!

Being a mom, no matter where or how you do feed your kid is bananas.

I guess what I am saying is if you need encouragement, I am here for ya.

Oh, and weaning was weird occasionally but it didn’t hurt. Just another reason I know we did the right thing. My body was ready.